Developmental Milestones & Achievements 

J is 8.5months – in weeks I’m sure that’s 37 weeks but as they say happens when the get older I’ve kinda stopped tracking the weeks (I actually think it might be more?) 

He’s achieved some cool developmental milestones in the past couple of weeks and I should really have done this sooner but I’ve decided to start documenting them, so we can track and reflect back in time. 

J is developing at a crazy rate but totally differently than his age peers, proving that every baby is different.

His friend has been rolling for ages, crawls and has three teeth. J has no teeth, only rolls on our bed or in his cot (inconvenient when he’s fighting sleep 😜) and while desperate to move, isn’t really grasping crawling. 

That said he had been sitting unsupported with fabulous posture for months and is kean to be on his feet wishing to be held standing, or in his walker or Jumparoo. He throws himself back when sitting now as appears to bored but won’t roll/move on his playmat independently.

So what are his newest skills? 

  • Appreciating his food. This is one of my favourites. He now says “Yumyumyum” and “Nomnomnon” while having meals or snacks. My heart swells everytime I hear it.
  • Mastering his pincer grip. After the fab advice from anther mummy, I introduced J to Cheds cheese cube snacks by Cathedral. They’re small baby bite size pieces of cheese to help encourage his chew and swallow as he is really gaggy wasn’t  handling texture in food too well. These killed two birds with one stone. He now independently picks them up from his high chair tray and eats them saying “Yumyumyum”.
  • Playing with his car and recreating the sounds “vroom vroom vroom”. I find this fascinating as myself or his daddy had only actively played with the car with him recently and made the noise a few times. They pick things up so quickly. 
  • Similarly while reading his book “Don’t wake the beastie” I recreated the “buzzing” sound of the bees on the cover. Seconds later he was also making the noise himself and continued to do so a few times. Amazing. 
  • Dh is a musician and has recently been practicing his music at home. Cue J watching intently and instinctively ‘sounding’ like singing and bobbing up and down in dance. We both observed him in awe. As music lovers, seeing him appear to enjoy & attempt to participate is just wonderful.
  • As I write this he has just raspberried right in my face. He’s done in spontaneously a couple of times but this past couple of days has done it more often – cheeky monkey

What development milestones have your little ones achieved? Do you record them anywhere? How do you approach it – with concern? Or happily let it all happen whatever the pace? 

Weekend baby style – 10 – a VERY busy one.

Thanks to Sarah and Hannah for selecting J’s outfit last week as one of the highlight entries! We’re super chuffed. 

This weekend was full of celebrations. 

Friday saw hubby and I celebrate our 6 year wedding anniversary (17 years together also to the day). 

Saturday was a surpise family lunch for my mums pending birthday

And Sunday, well Sunday’s are always busy family days, and today hubby’s (and the rest of the family’s) team won a big league footie match too. 

It was so busy that my photos and quality are a bit poor but none the less, here is J’s #weekendbabystyle 

Friday:





Polo Shirt (onsie) – Mama’s andPapas

Jeans – Bluezoo @ Debenhams 

Cardi – J by Jasper Conran @ Debenhams

Flat cap – As above 

Trainers – Next

Saturday:





Apologies for lack of worn full shot. 

Parka – River Island Mini

Jeans & Shirt – M&Co

Socks – TU @ Sainsburys 

Shoes – Doc Martens

Moustache – Courtesy of PizzaExpress – Princes Square Glasgow 🙈😜

No Images from Sunday, however outfit has feature in earlier post. 

We’ve had a very busy fun packed weekend. Lots of fun memories made. Hope you’ve all had a fab time too.

Remember  to check out the other link ups via http://www.firsttimemummy.com & http://www.knottbumpandus.com

#weekendbabystyle on social media 





Weekend Baby Style 9 – a very social weekend

J is lucky to be surrounded by lots of wonderful family and friends. His 4 cousins (& counting) are all toddlers so they are going to grow up very close which is so exciting. The oldest of them turned 3 today so this weekend it was all about partying. Yesterday we attended a Gymboree imaginative play party at their soft play venue and went to another family party on the other side before heading home for bed. Then today (Sunday) we made our weekly family visit to J’s great grandparents for round two of big cousins birthday. J tried birthday cake for the first time and even helped his big cousin open all his birthday presents. It was lots of fun.

Of course with all this partying, his outfit choice was hugely important. Here is yesterday’s outfit, our favourite of the weekend.

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Navy polo – Ralph Lauren
White long sleeve – TU @ Sainsbury’s
Mustard Chinos – M&S
Braces – H&M
Socks – M&S
Shearling Trim Denim Jacket – TU @ Sainsbury’s
Cord Camel Shoes – Next
Navy quilted flat cap – J by Jasper Conran @ Debenhams

Here he is from today, wishing the pressies were for him! Please excuse the “I’ve just had my lunch and wouldn’t let my daddy clean my face properly” mucky face.

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All in one – J by Jasper Conran @ Debenham’s
Shoes – as above

Remember to check out the #weekendbabystyle link up in http://www.firsttimemummy.com and http://www.knottbumpandus.com for lots of other blogposts

Search #weekendbabystyle on other social media sources eg Twitter, IG too

Hope you’ve all had a wonderful weekend x

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Weekend Baby Style – 8

This Friday (the 13th) Daddy was off work. J slept til 7am and was delighted to see both our faces in the morning. Although as I’m sure many mums will agree, they like to play up a bit when daddy’s home & their normal routine is a little out. Ie fighting nap time more than usual 😝.

Anyways, we were getting organised for mummy and daddy date night and J staying with Nana & Papa. Lots of prep involved for an overnight let me tell you. Especially picking out outfits for the next day!

Today though we went for a simple yet stylish combo. We were going to see an old fav band involved in a bit of a mod revival and coincidentally J looked like a bit of a mod himself.

Here’s his Friday outfit :-

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Granda collar shirt – Zara
Denim Jeans – blue zoo @ Debenhams
Cord ‘wallaby’ shoes – Next
Leopard Print Dribble Bib – H&M

#weekendbabystyle on Twitter & IG

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Check out the other link ups via http://www.firsttimemummy.com and http://www.knotbumpandus.com

Weekend Baby Style – 7

Bedtime done, baby asleep, downstairs looks like a bomb has gone off, kitchen still covered in the aftermath of dinner and water cup being launched around. But hey, let me take 5 to update with this weekends baby style link up.

So it’s Friday, usually this gives me a kind of Friday feeling knowing that DH is off work tomorrow, but no, he’s working so another day of me and my wee side kick attempting to create some form of adventure.

Today J decided to wake earlier than we aim for – 6:20am we played after breakfast then it was time for a nap, one that J really needed but wasn’t quite so happy to take.

Following his nap we got ready for the day and had fun in his ball pit while I did some chores.

It was lunch time then another nap. J surprised me with an hour as he’s been partial to 30mins after lunch for long and weary leading to a long afternoon of a grumpy pants before he naps while we’re out walking or doing errands. I managed to get some more chores done in that time which was good for the soul.

One of the chores was to sort out some of his outgrown baby clothes and some old clothes of daddy and mine and then take them down to the local charity shop. That was our outing for the day.

Anyways, here is what J wore on this fine sunny Friday afternoon.

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Shirt – Mini Club @ Boots
Jeans – M&S
Socks – Timberland
Dribble Bib – JoJo Maman Bebe
Cardi – M&S
Beanie Hat – TU @ Sainsbury’s

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#weekendbabystyle

Weekend baby style – 6

So we missed out last week. Why what’s been going on? I hear you ask…

Well weaning is going well in so much that J likes everything he’s tasted. This makes me very happy as aside from a few pouches, since we started almost 10 weeks ago, everything else I have cooked from scratch myself.

Unfortunately though, it seems a combination of his early reflux issues resurfacing and a very strong gag reflex means we’ve had at least one hefty vomiting session everyday for the past couple of weeks. This being the reason we missed out last week.

But we seem to have managed it better the last few days and have a cracker of an outfit to share from today.

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I went for the bow tie combo originally, if I’m honest as a bribe for when he’s eighteen. We are partial to a bow tie in this house but felt this was a bit much. Plus he was drooling lots so we de-bow-tied in favour of a dribble bib.

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So bow tie removed we opted for some braces as an accessory instead.

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Topped off with a flat cap

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And not forgetting the dribble bib, an essential at the minute.

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And as it’s still a bit chilly in Glasgow, and he’s also woken up with a cold, we’ve picked out his blue Cable knit cardi.

Shirt – Matalan
Chinos – Next
Bow tie – M&S
Braces – H&M
Flat Cap – J by Jasper Conran @ Debenhams
Dribble Bib – Name it.com
Cable Knit cardi – George @ Asda

As I typed this, I’ve been to settle my little soul three times, he’s loaded with a cold and struggling to sleep. Let’s hope it’s quick in passing.

Remember to check out http://www.firsttimemummy.com and the other link ups for #weekendbabystyle

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Realising that the ‘Fog’ has never really lifted.

For anyone who has read this blog before, you’ll know of my experience in the early days which led me to think I was suffering from Post natal depression as opposed to the short lived baby blues.

I was delighted when I started to feel the fog dissipate and even more so when the community mental health nurse signed me off after my first appointment as no further action required. It was a relief. That was 6 months ago.

In all honestly though, there has always been ‘something’ bubbling under. Sometimes it was just a feint ‘something’. Sometimes with circumstantial influences like LO’s bad feeding, napping etc it would be louder and harder to shake off. But I just ruled it out and plodded along thinking, this is obviously normal. This is just what being a mummy is like in real life.

LO is at the best stage yet. Developing and learning at a rapid pace. Everyday makes me giggle with a new noise or motor skill. We’re enjoying weaning. He loves his food and I love the fact that 95% of it is made by me and he appreciates it. Yet I have a knot in my tummy constantly and an anxious feeling in my chest, worrying about how each day is going to go. But hey, maybe this is just how it is?

Until two weeks ago. Triggers compounded my feeling. LO’s sleeping was a little rocky, nap times became a fight. Nothing worked. As much as I’ve wanted to encourage him to self settles as much as possible I was willing to do anything to get him to nap. Dummy, rocking, bouncing, pushing, feeding, cuddling. NOTHING worked.

I left my safe haven that was my private Twitter community and lost my voice to vent when troubled which subconsciously hit me too.

I went out with my ‘mummy/baby’ friends for a coffee date & felt like I was totally out of my depth. The girls all knew their babies. They were relaxed, taking challenges in their stride. I couldn’t get out of there quick enough, and cried all the way home in the car. This was the start of realising that, actually, the way I’m feeling isn’t right.

Sure the things I worry about are normal. Every parent worries about these things BUT, the way I allow these things to make me feel is NOT normal.

I internalise, analyse, obsess, feel guilty, always trying to ‘fix’ things. Never trust my own judgement. Always ask others for their opinion/advice. Read way too much from Dr or Encyclopaedia Google. It’s not healthy.

It took another good friend who’s LO is the same age as ours to point out to me that she believes I’m putting way too much pressure on myself and my anxieties are not warranted and that she worries that I’m not getting the enjoyment out of this time that I should.

She was right.

I showed hubby the message. He instantly said “Well you know what you’ve got to do…Phone the doctors tomorrow”.

Deep down I knew it myself but needed someone to recognise it in me. This isn’t fair. Not on me and most importantly not on LO or Dh, anybody for that matter.

Since this admission to myself I’ve had a melt down every single day. To the point DH called my mum to come and spend the day with me on Saturday. I truly didn’t want to be on my own. I didn’t fear my actions just the feeling of fear and welcomed someone’s ear and open arms.

Come this Monday when I visited the GP I was feeling better in my mind. I was taking control of the situation. I was finally going to do something about this an start living instead of surviving and feel like me again.

I’d had a decent morning. I’d let the light in. Was organised. Used my time efficiently. Felt stronger so even made the effort to put some make up on. I was confident I would articulate myself well to the doctor and today I was NOT going to cry.

Well that was until…

My car cut out four times on a dual carriage way to drop off LO to my mum.

It cut out three times from there to the doctors meaning I had not a second to spare.

Realising my roadside breakdown assistance has expired.

Realising I had 4% battery left.

Trying to desperately speak to dh to sort something out. But our reception cut out.

Panicking cos I’d literally dumped LO with no instructions re feeds etc & was left with nearly no means of contact.

Being faced with a rude and completely empathy lacking receptionist.

This resulted in me taking a full on panic stricken breakdown in the surgery and unable to pull myself together before seeing the GP. This was not how this was meant to go.

So, a prescription was printed before I even finished explaining my concerns. She clearly could see it.

This leaves me with majorly mixed emotions. I need to get back to myself. I need to. But I don’t even take paracetamol for a headache. This is totally new territory.

I tentatively started taking them yesterday morning. It’s the bitterest pill I’ve ever had to swallow. Why me? Why has this happened to me?

But there’s no room for pride or ignorance here. I know that it’s common. I know that it holds no prisoners and can hit ANYONE. But me, one of the most positive people you would meet most would say. Yet I have struggled to find that positive person for the last 7 months.

I am lucky that the way this has affected me has not resulted in bonding issues. I love this child with every inch of my being. He was so longed for and is so precious to me and DH. I tell him a thousand times a day and pray he know how much so. He’s a shining light and everyone who meets him thinks so. He makes me proud every time his smile makes someone else smile. And this is very often.

That said I’ve always considered him to be a challenging baby. Doesn’t like milk. Has high sleep needs but refuses to sleep willingly during the day. He had colic and reflux.

I’ve spent so much of his 7 months trying to ‘fix’ things that I’ve thought needed it. Trying to fit him into routines, make him fit a mould cos I’ve read all these things that say this is the right way, and this what your baby should be doing. Worrying what I’m doing is wrong so trying every other way possible.

But you know what. He’s not a challenging baby. He’s just a baby. There’s nothing about him that needs fixed. He’s happy, healthy, thriving, clever and absolutely gorgeous. It’s not him that needs ‘fixed’…it’s me.

So there it is, here’s where I’m at. I know I’ll be ok. I will. But I’ll be ok cos I’m dealing with it now. I have a beautiful baby, an amazing husband and a family and friends that support me.

This is just a bump in the road, but that bump can be filled to make the journey enjoyable, all be it adventurous.

Weekend Baby Style – Friday Family Fun

This week we’re doing a single day selection rather than a full weekend run down like last week.

This Friday, J and I met with my mum, sister and J’s two big cousins for lunch and a wander. It’s been winter weather in Glasgow this past couple of days so we had to wrap up. In fact on leaving the town centre the snow was heavy and lying, we thought we might get stuck on the way home. We didn’t. Thankfully.

Anyways, here’s what J wore for our day out…

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J looked a bit like a Mod with this ensemble on. I love it.

Our good friends gifted J this outfit when he was born and I was so excited for him to fit in it – before we know it he’ll have outgrown it.

Checked shirt – Mama’s and Papa’s
Denim Skinny Jeans – Mama’s & Papa’s
Two tone socks – TU Sainsburys

The Mod look was topped off with a cracking winter parka coat from River Island Mini. Gorgeous comfy faux sheep skin lining with a fab huge fur trimmed hood. My bad though, forgot to take a full outer wear photo. Woops.

He’ll be wearing it often so I’ll be sure to update it next time he’s wearing it.

Remember to check out http://www.firsttimemummy.com for more blog link ups of weekend baby style. Check out #weekendbabystyle on IG and Twitter too.

Happy weekend folks x

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Weekend Baby Style – First Linky

So my blog has most definitely migrated in the past 6 months from that of our journey to conceiving and that of my wonderful pregnancy.

I’ve written many a post about the lead up to baby’s arrival and subsequent days and weeks. Most of which have been happy and full of anticipation. However some heartfelt and honest about the challenges in adjusting into my (our) role.

In an attempt to keep the blog varied and inject more fun I have decided to participate in a fab link up with the lovely Hannah and Austin from http://www.firsttimemummy.com.

I’m a fashion junkie, in fact, I studied fashion business at university, so you can imagine how much fun I have choosing outfits and combinations for J. It seems more thought goes into how he looks than how I look these days.

We’ve participated in the previous two week link ups on Instagram using the hashtag #weekendbabystyle but really wanted to get involved through the blog also. So here goes. A Round up of J’s outfits from the weekend.

*Please note, these are all iPhone shots. I have been very lazy and not charged my DSLR. I promise to make a better effort in future.

Friday 9th January

After a disrupted night (which is unusual for this little one) we decided to brave the storm in Glasgow and go visit Great Gran.

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Top and Trousers – Marks and Spencers

Denim Jacket – TU Sainsburys

Shoes – Doc Martens

Hat – H&M

Teether – Nuby

Saturday 10th January

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This is one of my fav items in J’s wardrobe – His Ramone’s Jumper. He’ll soon outgrow it 😦

Jumper – H&M

Jeans – Debenhams

Socks – Early Days (Primark) – Hubby said they’re pink, I said they are coral.

Sunday 11th January

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Long sleeve vest – ZY baby (Portugal)

Jumper (Fox character) – Marks and Spencers

Jeans – Blue Baby @ Debenhams

Before Christmas we managed to get a huge haul from M&S in the sale and purchased £48 worth of items for £22. Some of the items above feature. Here is a sneak the haul too.

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Being a Mummy v’s Being Infertile

I’m a mummy, finally, after 5 and a half years of trying, I’m a mummy and hubby is a daddy. The biggest achievement of our lives. Our treasured child welcomed with two set of open arms, with love that knows no boundaries.

We are parent’s, we are two of the lucky people who’s hard work and intervention paid off, first time.

Never did we have a loss, as painful as that would have been, our bodies it’s seems have never been equipped to conceive naturally regardless of fates decision on the outcome.

Most would say and 99% of me would agree that that is a blessing. Family and friends have suffered loss. I know it’s awful both physically and mentally. I don’t understand, but I can empathise. But I also felt like I needed to know my body could do it and we’d never ever had a sign – bar one late period in 15 years. I’m sure that other 1% of me would have been nullified if I ever was to have lost. I’m sure I’d then have been consumed with pain and fear.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, we believed our infertility issues were solely male factor. They were pretty extreme. Dh was not azoospermic, however numbers were very low and motility was also low. Early tests confirmed this and little changed that, as was confirmed through multiple follow up tests. Well that’d explain our difficulties. From the start it was evident we’d need intervention/assistance.

Fast forward a year and a half later. Numerous tests clocked up and medical records updated with both our details. We’d finally reached the top of the list. We were days away from starting our treatment when another bombshell hit. I would be down regulating. Why?

The reason why was my blood tests showed my AMH (UK stats) were around 4 and so considered Low, heading for the Low Low end.

I cried, cried so hard. The nurse didn’t even know where to look. I had so many questions. Why? Why didn’t we know this before now? What does this mean?

So not only had we been dealing with Male IF all these years, but I too had IF issues. My egg reserve is way below average and to this day is probably still dwindling. (Christ knows I don’t even want to think about where it’s at just now – but that’s just burying my head in the sand).

So back to our luck, our hard work, our mental strength – against all odds.

We picked ourselves back up from the floor, quickly. Hope and positivity always got us through these rough periods. We continued with our clean eating. Sacrificing so many things we loved/desired. We stayed fit. Drowned ourselves staying hydrated. Visited our acupuncturist. Researched. Took nutrients, vitamins, natural fertility boosting tablets, powders, food, drink, god you name it.

I joined a community of other IF women. Amazing women. I chose to add a mixture of peoples experiences and journeys. Some still trying, some at the same stage as we were with our treatment & most who had been successful. Some successes were first time, some were those who almost gave up and after many attempts, finally having their dreams made reality. I saw these successes as my life line. My living hope. It happens. It can happen.

We tried to live in the moment and live for today but dream of the future.

It paid off, and with the wonder of modern day science, our wonderful boy joined us.

I don’t need to tell you how wonderful that moment was. Our lives changed forever. I also don’t need to tell you, how difficult I found the early weeks and months. I’ve said it here before.

Longing for a child and being infertile doesn’t suddenly make you earth mother, perfect and find it a breeze when your time finally comes. On the contrary, for some of us it makes the next part of the journey even more challenging. Something our HV was quick to inform me she sees more often than not.

In the early days I was very open about my struggles and had amazing support from my family and IRL friends. But the support I received through my Twitter ‘family and friends’ was immense. I don’t know what I’d have done without the encouragement. The echoes of experience & how the tough times will get better. Things to try. Reassurance not to worry. I’ll be forever in so many wonderful people’s debt for helping me regain my sanity.

Fast forward 6 months and life is so different. I feel like I’m much more in control. I feel like a mummy and not someone pretending to be a mummy. I love (& always have) my boy and he loves me. It’s evident now. His love for me is pretty much tangible. I hope he feels the same way about my love for him.

That said, days can be tough. Trying to work out whether I should feed him at a different time to fit his sleep needs or make his sleep fit his meal times. Risking creating an overtired monster and never really knowing if I’m tackling it the right way. Realising he’s an individual and doesn’t fit the mould perfectly to recommended routines.

Wondering whether we’re better getting out and about every other day, or sticking to trying to routine him and staying at home. Juggling his sleep needs and his curiosity for the world (hence doesn’t like to sleep when out and about).

Worried he naps too late and then doesn’t sleep well at night or wakes early in the morning. Worried he’s not had enough naps and doesn’t sleep well at night or wakes early. My brain is constantly going ten to the dozen.

I’m a mum, I’m a worrier and I’m only human. It’s no lie when people tell you it’s the most challenging yet rewarding job you’ll ever do. I thought my ‘real’ job was beyond challenging; encouraging people to push boundaries and work to unachievable measures. But it now seems like a doddle. Having said that, I could see retuning far enough in exchange for being with my longed for boy each and everyday as he grows, challenges and all. This is my REAL job now.

It seems however that in the IF twitter community at present, where those still trying and those who aim to share experiences, give support and hope through their successes (& attempts to be successful beforehand) that it’s now more difficult to ‘talk shop’ with other new mummies who’ve shared in a long, emotional journey to achieve this new role.

People’s current reality can be misconstrued and cause offence inadvertently. With no intention to upset or cause rifts.

Same for those who have recently achieved their longed for BFP. Some still longing are finding it harder to share in the joy, unable to hide their envy, in an all too negative way.

This makes me sad. Very sad. I understand, to some extent. I can empathise, again, for I haven’t had multiple failed attempts or losses. But I’m still infertile. I still know the longing.

The congratulating yet another friend or family member in real life. Or an acquaintance or work colleague on facebook for ten millionth time while still waiting my turn.

Hearing a friends say “just tell [hubby] to sit without his trousers on and put an ice pole between his legs.

The number of times I’ve heard some one tell me to elevate my legs after sex or simply “Relax”.

Being asked at every family party “so when is it your turn?” until they get bored asking in the end.

Having my mum innocently tell me about another colleague’s pregnancy announcement or friends daughter’s news – To the point where I had to tell her “unless I know them I actually don’t care”.

I’ve made the choice this week to take a long break from my IF Twitter account. It pains me so. There are so many people I want to follow and see how their treatment, pregnancies, life goals, and parenthood journey’s go. But I can’t do that and be a mummy and be myself, commenting on the good without sounding boastful or the challenging and sounding ungrateful.

When commenting on the good, I’m purely in awe of my amazing child. The one that me and my husband with a huge helping of modern science created.

When commenting on the challenges, I’m merely blowing steam. Being honest and saying it like it is. Day naps for instance, and juggling them are the bane of my mummy life. Dealing with over-tiredness & a moaning grump, when you know your child is a happy content child when he’s well rested. It’s hard. But sharing these thoughts doesn’t mean that I’m ungrateful or unappreciative of this wonderful gift I’ve been given. It’s just my reality. It’s where my life is at right that second.

But in another second I’m reminded that I’m still infertile. The phone call from my beloved sister to tell me that she and my brother in law were pregnant for the FOURTH time (& had hardly tried). While immensely happy for them and not a millimetre of me begrudged or turned green, it still reminded me that that will never be us.

When someone innocently asks (knowing our past or not) “Do you think you’ll have another?” – us soon reminded that our precious boy may never be a sibling.

Realising that my AMH is likely gradually worsening and being forced to decide whether we want to go through the huge emotional turmoil of the ivf roller coaster anytime soon. Otherwise, our chances continually disappearing before our eyes. Yet wanting to enjoy our boy in the very fast early years without the pressure of another cycle.

You see, I may be a mummy, but I’m still infertile. I can still support others suffering due to infertility. I can lend a shoulder or share experience and I want to give hope. This same support I still need it too – both as a mummy and as an infertile.

Choosing to take a break from my IF Twitter community has been a really emotional experience for me. I’ve cried more in the past 24 hours than I have done in quite sometime. It’s been a huge part of my life & truthfully I’m reluctant to close the door whether temporarily or permanently. But given recent events and they way I’ve allowed my self to feel being part of it just now, it’s very much needed.

I wish ALL of my Twitter FAMILY so much love, strength, and hope. Until I visit again…x